Considering Sara
by TisTheEast
Summary: Leaning against a row of lockers, Catherine whispered to herself, This can't be happening.
1. Part One

**Title: Considering Sara  
  
**Author: Juliet (pandora1251@yahoo.com)  
  
**Disclaimer: for as much time as I spend on these guys, you'd think I'd have some sort of claim to them.but alas.  
  
**Rating: PG-13 (for language only)  
  
**Author's Notes: it all started innocently enough, I thought to myself, "I'll chat while I work on some writing." Little did I imagine that I would begin writing a full-fledged story in a chat room thanks to the sneakiness of my beloved Graveyard Shift Groupies.  
  
**Thank-you's: first and foremost to Nic, Angie, Allie, Rita, and Manda for a fun-filled chat and for conning me into writing this fic in the first place. To Gabe, for being the love of my life and a constant source of inspiration.  
  
Part One  
  
"So big plans tonight?" Catherine asked leaning against the desk.  
  
"Why do you ask?" Grissom said barely looking up from his paperwork. "Because you've got your leather jacket draped over the chair," Catherine said motioning towards it.  
  
Grissom put his pen down. "Alright Cath, you've caught me."  
  
Catherine raised an eyebrow at him. "Have I?"  
  
"I do have plans tonight," Grissom began, wondering why he felt so unsure explaining this to her...after all Catherine was his best friend. "I have a date."  
  
There was a pause as Catherine took in this information.  
  
"Well don't do anything I wouldn't do," she said tossing him a smile and wink as she left his office. Maybe there was hope for Gil yet.  
  
"You look nice," Nick said as Sara gathered some papers from the table in the break room. Sara's smile faded as Catherine walked in.  
  
"Hey," Catherine said, staring at Sara for a moment. "Well Nicky, I'm glad to see that someone else missed the memo about 'dress-up day.'"  
  
"I'm going to take this stuff to Grissom," Sara said carrying the files out of the break room.  
  
"She has a date," Nick said, replying to Catherine's questioning look.  
  
"I see," Catherine said, feeling as if a ton of bricks had just hit her.  
  
"What?" Nick asked, sensing her sudden shift in moods.  
  
"Nothing...it's nothing," Catherine replied, trying to shake the anxiety she felt coming on. It had to be a coincidence.  
  
Feeling as if her entire body was numb, she slowly made her way into the locker room. But before she got there, Catherine's ears were assaulted by a horrible sound.  
  
"So where are we going," Sara asked standing the hallway in front of Grissom's office.  
  
"You'll see,' Grissom said shutting the door and leading her down the hall towards the exit.  
  
"Shit," Catherine exclaimed not sure whether she wanted to yell or cry or do both. She ducked into the locker room as the pair came down the hallway, talking softly to each other as they went. Leaning against a row of lockers, Catherine whispered to herself, "This can't be happening."  
  
"Wait can't be happening?" Warrick asked walking into the locker room.  
  
"My, uh, I think I'm coming down with a cold," Catherine said quickly, trying to make excuses.  
  
"Catherine," he began, placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I just need to get home and get some sleep," Catherine replied shrugging his hand away as she grabbed her scarf out of her locker.  
  
"Well are you going to be okay?" he asked with a look of concern. He had never known a cold to have Catherine this upset.  
  
For a moment she bit her lip, unable to speak as tears threatened to spill over.  
  
"Yeah Warrick, I'll be fine," Catherine said turning to face him. She flashed him a smile that for all the effort she put into it, Warrick knew was fake.  
  
"You're sure Cath?" he asked one final time.  
  
"Yup, I'm great, wonderful," Catherine replied, struggling to remain composed. When her locker didn't close the first time she slammed it shut with incredible force. "Hell, I'm walking on sunshine Warrick."  
  
Giving the locker one final slam, she left the locker room as quickly as possible.  
  
Once outside she was able to take a few deep breathes, but she still felt trapped.  
  
"I need to get out of here," she said to no one at all.  
  
"Bye Catherine," Greg yelled over the blaring music in his car, as he pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
She managed to wave to him with another fake smile. Then with shaking hands, she unlocked her car. Once she was sitting in driver's seat, she wanted to cry, but found that she couldn't.  
  
Instead she decided to drive.....she didn't know where she would go, but she had to go somewhere. Flinging a CD of love songs into her backseat, Catherine shoved the Aerosmith into her stereo, turning it up as loud as humanly possible.  
  
Feeling her car come to a stop, Catherine realized where she had driven. She was in a parking lot on the outskirts of the Strip, in the older part of town. Across the street stood Dream Dolls, a grim reminder of her past. For a while she sat in the car, regarding the building as both an old friend and a hated enemy.  
  
The neon lights were glaring in the cool desert night, as Catherine slowly got out of her car. There was something about the lights and blaring music of the Strip that had always seemed like home to her.  
  
"Maybe this is where I belong after all," Catherine murmured softly to herself, remember how Grissom had delivered her from the world so many years ago. The thought of Grissom, his blue eyes, the soft sincere tone he had reserved for her and her alone all these years made Catherine feel as if she were going to explode, yet once again she couldn't bring herself to cry.  
  
As she traveled further into the heart of the city, where the lights shone brighter than the stars, Catherine began to wonder what she had done wrong. Her marriage to Eddie seemed the most glaringly obvious on a long list of vices. But as she accounted for a cocaine addiction, her years as a teenage runaway, and her career as an exotic dancer, Catherine stopped walking. Considering Sara however, caused Catherine to start walking again, at an even fast pace. After all, what qualities did the younger CSi possess that she didn't? She seemed sweet and innocent at first glance, but as another woman, Catherine knew that Sara had been trying to get her claws into Grissom since her first day at the lab.  
  
Finally, when her body would no longer comply with her mind's detirmination, Catherine stopped in a small grocery store to buy a bottle of water.  
  
She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she barely noticed the man approaching her.  
  
"Catherine?" he asked after staring at her for a moment.  
  
She looked up and almost spit out her water, realizing who the man standing before her was. "Ricky?" 


	2. Part Two

Three Weeks Later....  
  
Catherine tapped her pen on the table impatiently. "You know some of us have places to go and people to see," she muttered.  
  
"Wish I was one of those people," Greg mused flopping down on the couch as the team gathered in the break room.  
  
"Are we ever going have this meeting?" Catherine asked feeling as if she were going to jump out of her own skin.  
  
"Grissom said he'd be just a second," Sara replied casually.  
  
"You'd know," Catherine muttered under her breath, taking a long sip of coffee.  
  
"So Catherine, who's the new man I keep seeing you with?" Nick asked trying to reduce some of the tension that had been building between the two women for weeks now.  
  
"An old friend," Catherine replied, not in the mood to explain the complexities of how she and Ricky knew each other.  
  
"I see," Sara replied in an icy tone.  
  
"He's actually meeting me for brunch here in a few minutes so I hope we can get this meeting rolling," Catherine replied, flashing the fake smile that had become her trademark over these last few weeks.  
  
"Sounds like you guys are pretty serious," Greg mused, bobbing his spiky head as he played air guitar.  
  
The sad look in Catherine's blue eyes as she paused was not missed by anyone in the room, especially Sara.  
  
"I hope so," Catherine said, her smile returning after a fleeting display of emotion. "Ricky's a great guy. I mean I had forgotten how much we have in common." she continued, unaware that Grissom had entered the break room.  
  
"Sorry about the wait," he mumbled sinking into the chair between Catherine and Sara.  
  
"To keep this meeting short," Grissom said looking straight at Catherine. "We've got a double homicide at a grocery store outside town and a shooting at the Royal Marriot down on Strip. Warrick, you and Nick check out the store. Catherine, you and Sara are with me." With that, he stood up and made his way to the door.  
  
Catherine flew out of her chair about to give Grissom a piece of her mind, but seeing his subtle motion, she shut her mouth and stormed out into the hallway after him.  
  
"What just happened there?" Greg asked the others in complete amazement.  
  
Sara raised both hands in surrender, "Don't even think of looking me."  
  
"What's this all about Gil?" Catherine snapped stomping down the hallway after him.  
  
But Grissom remained silent until they had reached his office. Closing the door, he motioned to the couch, "Have a seat Cath."  
  
"I'll stand thank you," Catherine replied leaning against the door.  
  
"So I met Ricky just now," Grissom began. "That's why I was late getting to the break room. He asked me to tell you he was here."  
  
"Well then I'd better go tell him I can't go to brunch shouldn't I?" Catherine replied giving him an icy glare as she turned to leave.  
  
"Catherine, wait," Grissom said placing a hand on her upper arm. A jolt of electricity seemed to surge through them both at the unexpected touch.  
  
"You really care about him?" Grissom continued softly.  
  
"Yes mother," Catherine replied rolling her eyes. "Cut to the chase Gil."  
  
"He's married Catherine," Grissom said, a strange feeling of deja vu coming over him. He had suspected that Catherine knew about Eddie's infidelities when he told her. However it only made the current situation worse.  
  
Catherine's eyes narrowed as she shook her head in disbelief. "You.....how could you....you're wrong Gil," she finally said.  
  
"The man told me Catherine," Grissom replied. "I noticed his ring and he took it off very quickly saying that 'Cathy wouldn't be too happy if she knew about that.'"  
  
"You are such a liar Grissom," Catherine spat. "And even if he was wearing a ring, since when do you comment on jewelry?" She continued, getting more upset by the second.  
  
Right at that moment, Sara sauntered down the hallway.  
  
"Oh that's right, since you met her," Catherine hissed and stormed out of Grissom's office.  
  
The drive to the Royal Marriot was a quiet one. Grissom focused on the road while Catherine stared at her hands in the passenger seat. Sara sat in the backseat, looking like an impatient child.  
  
At the crime scene, the trio set to work quietly, processing the scene as if it were the only thing they knew how to do.  
  
"This all has to go back to the lab," Catherine quipped as she stared  
  
at a gigantic section of pipe from the hot tub where the body was found.  
  
Sara wrinkled her nose at the grimy pieces of the pipe Catherine placed into bags. As she began to lug the heavy load towards the elevator, Grissom took several of the bags from her.  
  
"We'll run these down to the Tahoe and be right back," Grissom said to Sara who was concentrating on printing the hot tub.  
  
Catherine leaned against one side of the elevator as Grissom stood patiently near the door. "Stairs would've been faster," he mused.  
  
Catherine shrugged and motioned to the bags of pipes on the floor, "You really want to go down 19thhts of stairs with those?"  
  
All at once, the elevator lurched to a stop between the ninth and tenth floors.  
  
"What the hell?" Catherine muttered, taking two steps toward the control panel of the elevator.  
  
"There must be some sort of mechanical error," Grissom began, but before he could continue, the lights started to dim.  
  
"What are we supposed to do?" Catherine asked, now that they were in complete darkness.  
  
"Nothing we can do, but wait until someone realizes we're here," Grissom sighed. "The call button doesn't seem to be working."  
  
"Great, just great," Catherine muttered. "I can't see a damned thing."  
  
"Give your eyes a minute to adjust," Grissom said softly. He knew Catherine wasn't fond of elevators to begin with, and he was positive their conversation earlier that day wasn't helping.  
  
"Some great morning this turned out to be," Catherine sighed. "Instead of going out, I'm stuck in a pitch black elevator with some bloody pipes."  
  
"And what am I, chopped liver?" Grissom asked.  
  
Catherine couldn't help but smile at his bad attempt at a joke.  
  
"Was my joke that bad?" Grissom laughed.  
  
"Who said I was smiling at your stupid joke?" Catherine asked, shaking her head. "Anyways Gil it's dark, you don't know what expression I've got on right now. For all you know I could be crying my eyes out."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with either choice Cath," Grissom replied.  
  
A moment of silence passed between them. Catherine was suddenly grateful for the darkness because she didn't think she could handle looking into Grissom's stunning eyes with out losing whatever emotional control she still possessed  
  
"Give me your hand," Grissom finally said softly. Their fingers intertwined slowly as if both of them were under some sort of magical spell. With a gentle tug, Grissom pulled her closer to him, and for moment they stood with faces only inches apart.  
  
However Catherine pulled back, saying in a voice shaken by tears, "Who's going to tell me about you?"  
  
"I don't understand," Grissom replied softly.  
  
"My mother told me about Ricky, and then you told me about Eddie and Ricky for the second time," Catherine said between tears. "But who's going to tell me that you're taken when I fall in love with you?"  
  
"Catherine, I'm not..." Grissom began.  
  
"Not that it would matter," she replied bitterly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Grissom asked, wanting so badly to take her in his arms.  
  
"I've felt this way about you for too long without saying anything," Catherine said sadly. "And now I've lost my chance."  
  
Grissom could resist any longer. Folding Catherine into his embrace, he whispered, "There's still a chance for us."  
  
For a moment Catherine said nothing and just let herself relax in Grissom's arms. There was something familiar, comforting about his presence that she had so sorely missed. Then she remembered why.  
  
"What about Sara?" she asked softly, the younger woman's name like a bitter taste in her mouth.  
  
"What about her?" Grissom asked stroking her silky hair.  
  
"I thought you two were...." Catherine couldn't bring herself to say what she had been dreading for so long.  
  
Grissom's jaw dropped, and for a moment he was grateful for the darkness so that Catherine couldn't see the surprise in his eyes.  
  
"The night I took her out for coffee when she thought she was going to break up with Hank?" Grissom asked, as the pieces suddenly all fell into place.  
  
"She thought...you mean she and Hank are still together?" Catherine said, suddenly feeling like a fool.  
  
"Is this why you've been acting so strangely?" Grissom said softly. It was a statement more than a question.  
  
Before she could answer, Catherine found herself squinting as the lights in the elevator came back on. After blinking several times, she looked over at Grissom to see him smiling at her, his blue eyes twinkling the way they only did when he spoke to her.  
  
"What?" she asked, greeting his smile with one of her own.  
  
"You're beautiful you know that," he said delighted to see Catherine smiling for real for the first time in so long. "And I would say I'm falling in love with you, but I can't."  
  
Catherine's smile began to fade.  
  
"Because I fell in love you the day I met you," Grissom finished. "And have been in love with you ever since."  
  
"Then why didn't you tell me silly," Catherine said, teasing him as her eyes shone with joy.  
  
"For some reason I kept getting interrupted," he replied, moving to kiss her. But before he could do so, the elevator lurched back to life.  
  
As the doors opened on the ground floor, Sara and Brass were greeted by the sight of Grissom and Catherine laughing happily.  
  
"What happened to you guys?" Sara asked, motioning to the loaded Tahoe. "I pulled all the prints and collected fibers samples to take back to the lab."  
  
Catherine tried to respond, but found she couldn't stop laughing. It was as if all of the tension that had been building inside of her was finally being released.  
  
"Glad to see she's in a better mood," Sara mused as she opened the back of the Tahoe and made space for the pipes.  
  
"Glad to see those to finally worked things out," Brass replied as Catherine leaned over and kissed Grissom on the cheek.  
  
The End  
  
"And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love like never before.." Christine McVie 


End file.
